Author’s Note: Charged with the task of writing a vignette shipping Fry and Leela, I admittedly had a lot of trouble despite the fact that I really like the two as a couple. Anyway, this was the result.

Radiation Can Do This, You Know

“According to the Professor,” Leela said, switching off her headset. “The radiation from the explosion at Morpheus 9 may have caused us to have temporary telepathic abilities.”

“Well, why don’t you tell us how you really feel?” Fry asked, hunching his shoulders and looking irritable.

Leela might have said, Shut up, Fry, at this point, but she didn’t have to.

“Whats going on?” Bender asked from the vicinity of the floor.

“We can read each other’s minds and it’s causing social problems,” Leela explained, slouching in her chair and looking gloomy.

“Why can’t I do that?”

“Because the radiation just melted you.”

“Oh.”

“Aha!” Fry said, standing up theatrically. “So it was you who threw out my pickleoni sandwich last week. You know, they only made so many of those before they went off the market.”

“Why’d they take ‘em off?” asked Bender from his blob-like state on the floor.

“Caused hallucinations,” Fry said off-handedly.

“It was covered in mold,” Leela insisted. “And anyway, Fry,” she said, crossing her arms. “You could at least try not to read my mind. Here I am, respecting your privacy, while you’re rooting through my mind like Zoidberg in a dumpster he smells used tissues in.” She paused. “And I’m not, so you can just stop thinking that.”

There was a sulky silence, broken only by Bender’s warbled efforts to whistle through a halfway melted vocal unit. Leela concentrated on driving and Fry concentrated on his shoes.

Suddenly, Leela turned to Fry with a suspicious expression on her face; accidentally running over a raccoon sized planet that’s gravitational pull moved it across her path.

“Are you just thinking that to make me feel sorry for you?” she asked.

Fry squirmed and tried to shift his thoughts to the other side of his head for better cover.

“Whats going on?” Bender asked again.

“Awww,” Leela said. “I’m sorry Fry. I never knew you felt that way.”

Fry desperately tried to block his thoughts. Think about tomatoes, his brain screamed. There’s nothing remotely suspicious about tomatoes.

“Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.” Leela said, tapping her brow.

“Hey! You can’t leave Bender out of the loop! I’ll kill you both once I solidify!”

—-

Author’s Note: For anyone that asks, pickeleoni is a yet to be created hybrid of pickles and pepperonis. It is the lunch meat of the future! Too bad about all those recalls.

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